Resources / Study / Innovation for Court ADR

Just Court ADR

The blog of Resolution Systems Institute

How Many Mediators Does It Take…

Jessica Glowinski, May 4th, 2012

As the saying goes, if you’re too busy to laugh, you’re too busy. So here’s a bit of Friday fun from guest blogger Jim Alfini, professor at South Texas College of Law and member of RSI’s Executive Committee. Jim has been sharing his ADR jokes with us for years, and we hope you enjoy them as much as we do. If you have any jokes to add to the list, please share!

Q: How many transformative mediators does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Transformative mediators don’t change light bulbs; they empower them to change themselves.

Q: How many facilitative mediators does it take to hang a picture?
A: Facilitative mediators don’t hang pictures; they re-frame them.

Neutrals Go to Heaven
St. Peter was guarding the pearly gates of Heaven one day and he had to run an errand. He sighted St. Theresa off in the distance and called her over to ask if she would take over while he was gone. She said, “What do I have to do?” He replied, “Here’s the Great Book. Make sure that the person is in the Great Book and that the time is right, and then you can let them in.” She said, “Fine.”

St. Peter went off and she took over. Pretty soon, a mediator and an arbitrator showed up. They were both one week early. St. Theresa said, “I’ll tell you what. You can go back to earth and be anything you ever wanted to be for one week, and then come back and we’ll let you in.” The mediator said, “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle.” The arbitrator said, “I want to be a stud.” St. Theresa agreed and they returned to earth.

St. Peter returned. He asked St. Theresa, “How did it go?” She explained what happened. St. Peter said, “That’s great. Where are they now?”

“The mediator is a golden eagle, soaring over the Grand Canyon. And the arbitrator is a stud in a snow tire in North Dakota.”

4 Responses to “How Many Mediators Does It Take…”

  1. Very funny and perhaps only us mediator’s would understand.

  2. Cinnie Noble says:

    We all know that one does not need to be a lawyer to be a mediator. However, when mediation began to take off some years ago, it seemed that being a lawyer was a prerequisite.

    In this regard and relevant to this blog, a friend of mine asked during a panel, “What is the definition of a mediator?

    A: A lawyer that breathes.

  3. Kent Lawrence says:

    Lighten up folks – I think that was the idea. Jim I LOVE the “stud” play…. obviously a mediator (i.e. we against them) and not an arbitrator joke. The “serious” (and humorous part) is that lawyers – and judges and arbitrators – do tend to be “stud” minded (only the male ones of course….).

  4. […] Court ADR: How Many Mediators Does It Take… blog.aboutrsi.org/2012/fun/how-many-mediators-does-it-take/ Filed Under: […]

Leave a Reply to Jim W Hildreth